...and it made me cry - literally.
"...when I look in the Mirror I now see the Fat Girl I once ignored."
I could have written those words. It is one of the hardest thing to pass your weight loss goal (by 26 pounds) and still look in the mirror and absolutely hate what you see. It doesn't matter how well my new clothes fit; it doesn't matter that I now wear a size medium shirt (I was an XL) or that I am now wearing pants I wore in Jr. High - I still see every little piece of skin that I hate. I don't see how far I've come, but rather how far I still have to go. It's frustrating.
I have now hit the 61 pound mark, and signing on to update my blog reminded me of why I started this in the first place. My blog title says it all: "Rethinking Perfection." When I first started this weight loss, I did it for myself. I did it because I wanted to treat my body the way it deserved to be treated, I wanted to be happy and healthy - for the sake of being happy and healthy. Now, I am treating health as a means to an end - i.e. I want attention or I want to keep losing sizes and pounds. I want to run further and further to brag that I can. And I want to lift more just to say that I can. Nothing is good enough at this point.
New resolution: to remember to always "rethink perfection."
Perfection is not a pant size.
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